Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Terminator (the Original) 5 Stars




I had to watch this to try to remove the mind stink that Salvation has left on me. When I think of Salvation I feel like agent Smith in the matrix when he said "I Hate this place, this zoo, this reality, whatever you call it........IT"S THE SMELL!"

Terminator is one of the top 10 most important action movies of all time, a game changer that also birthed the second greatest action hero after Sly Stallone. The non essential dialogue in the movie is terrible I will give it's critics that. Particularly any scene with Ginger and her headphones.....except when she gets wet by the four fifth with laser sights. However, the essential dialogue is perfect, just enough to keep the story going. What makes this movie mega dope is the Terminator (obviously) and Reese. Reese was the shit. In the beginning the diesel robot who feels no pain travels through time and lands in a cozy kneeling position.His only discomfort probably was the fact that his bare sack was caressing the cold concrete much like Dolph Lundgrens was when he was dirty and meditating naked in the sewer in the first Punisher movie. Reese, who is scrawny and scarred up gets thrown through time and lands on the concrete like he was just dumped out of the bed of a Ford F150 going down 95. Why did he choose this? Because he is fucking hard like del state football.

The dopest scene in the Terminator is when Reese and his biatch are cruising on the interstate being pursued by the Terminator on the bike. The pipebomb blasts and image of the Terminator rolling right through them is off the hook.

How is this great low budget movie repaid? By having three sequels that never should have been made. Honestly, the sequels to this movie actually detract from the original. I can understand the machines going back in time once as a last ditch effort as John Connor and his men are wrecking shit, but a second, third and fourth time? If they can do this why not just send a bunch back in time? Or go back in time to the wild west when the only guns are hand guns and kill John Connors great great great grandpa with a Terminator heart punch? The sequels blow, this includes T2 and the bullcrap liquid guy. fuck em.

1 comment:

  1. Don't dig too deep on the logic of these films and the sequels. If friggin' machines could go back in time, they'd a just gone back to the beginning and remade Earth as they saw fit.

    Props for calling forth the Punisher sewer sac image and dredging up Del State football's slogan.

    Terminator is dope though. I like robots. A true 5 star gem.

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