Traitor 2 Stars

What has happened in movie land when Guy Pearce, star of such great films like LA Confidential, Ravenous, Memento and The Count Of Monte Cristo (Yes, I said The Count of Monte Cristo, if you have beef with it, make a move) plays backseat to a poor man's Terrence Howard in a movie about black muslim double agent terrorists? Guy Pearce is better than this.

The premise is ridiculous. How many Black Muslim terrorists have attacked this country in recent years? Ever? So in this movie a Black Muslim terrorist who was former special forces easily infiltrates the second most dangerous terrorist group besides Bin Laden and his crew. He does this by being beaten up in prison. Last time I checked getting beaten up in prison leads to you getting ripped out in the shower, not accolades from the baddest dudes in the joint. On top of that foolishness, the movie is boring. I felt my sack hairs getting grayer as I watched it.

Next thing I know I see Jeff Daniels walking around in the movie. If he is not on a toilet shitting himself profusely in a snowy wonderland, then I do not want to see it. I wish he would stay in Michigan at the Purple Rose theater and not bother anyone anymore. Jeff Daniels primary role in the movie is to suggest that American tactics are no better than the tactics of the terrorists. Great. If I wanted to hear that shit I would call George Clooney or the has been/never was from American Pie.

The best part is that Don Cheadle's character goes through a moral crisis mid film because he accidentally kills innocent people, this bit of the story lasts for about 15 minutes. "the koran says" to take an innocent life is unforgivable so at the end of the movie he blows up a bus that was full of terrorists. The problem is that the poor bus driver was an innocent dude just rolling down the interstate with a bunch of white American and black American muslim terrorists (because apparently there are a shitload of them). I guess one hour in movie time is long enough to forget that you are a hypocrite.

I don't mind a movie that is unrealistic. My problem is that I heard on many occasion how great and realistic Traitor was, and I truly think the people who made the movie thought the same way. However, Transporter 2 was closer to reality than this boring bag of garbage. If you want to see a movie about terrorists and the Mid East, watch Body of Lies.

Terminator (the Original) 5 Stars

I had to watch this to try to remove the mind stink that Salvation has left on me. When I think of Salvation I feel like agent Smith in the matrix when he said "I Hate this place, this zoo, this reality, whatever you call it........IT"S THE SMELL!"

Terminator is one of the top 10 most important action movies of all time, a game changer that also birthed the second greatest action hero after Sly Stallone. The non essential dialogue in the movie is terrible I will give it's critics that. Particularly any scene with Ginger and her headphones.....except when she gets wet by the four fifth with laser sights. However, the essential dialogue is perfect, just enough to keep the story going. What makes this movie mega dope is the Terminator (obviously) and Reese. Reese was the shit. In the beginning the diesel robot who feels no pain travels through time and lands in a cozy kneeling position.His only discomfort probably was the fact that his bare sack was caressing the cold concrete much like Dolph Lundgrens was when he was dirty and meditating naked in the sewer in the first Punisher movie. Reese, who is scrawny and scarred up gets thrown through time and lands on the concrete like he was just dumped out of the bed of a Ford F150 going down 95. Why did he choose this? Because he is fucking hard like del state football.

The dopest scene in the Terminator is when Reese and his biatch are cruising on the interstate being pursued by the Terminator on the bike. The pipebomb blasts and image of the Terminator rolling right through them is off the hook.

How is this great low budget movie repaid? By having three sequels that never should have been made. Honestly, the sequels to this movie actually detract from the original. I can understand the machines going back in time once as a last ditch effort as John Connor and his men are wrecking shit, but a second, third and fourth time? If they can do this why not just send a bunch back in time? Or go back in time to the wild west when the only guns are hand guns and kill John Connors great great great grandpa with a Terminator heart punch? The sequels blow, this includes T2 and the bullcrap liquid guy. fuck em.