What has happened in movie land when Guy Pearce, star of such great films like LA Confidential, Ravenous, Memento and The Count Of Monte Cristo (Yes, I said The Count of Monte Cristo, if you have beef with it, make a move) plays backseat to a poor man's Terrence Howard in a movie about black muslim double agent terrorists? Guy Pearce is better than this.
The premise is ridiculous. How many Black Muslim terrorists have attacked this country in recent years? Ever? So in this movie a Black Muslim terrorist who was former special forces easily infiltrates the second most dangerous terrorist group besides Bin Laden and his crew. He does this by being beaten up in prison. Last time I checked getting beaten up in prison leads to you getting ripped out in the shower, not accolades from the baddest dudes in the joint. On top of that foolishness, the movie is boring. I felt my sack hairs getting grayer as I watched it.
Next thing I know I see Jeff Daniels walking around in the movie. If he is not on a toilet shitting himself profusely in a snowy wonderland, then I do not want to see it. I wish he would stay in Michigan at the Purple Rose theater and not bother anyone anymore. Jeff Daniels primary role in the movie is to suggest that American tactics are no better than the tactics of the terrorists. Great. If I wanted to hear that shit I would call George Clooney or the has been/never was from American Pie.
The best part is that Don Cheadle's character goes through a moral crisis mid film because he accidentally kills innocent people, this bit of the story lasts for about 15 minutes. "the koran says" to take an innocent life is unforgivable so at the end of the movie he blows up a bus that was full of terrorists. The problem is that the poor bus driver was an innocent dude just rolling down the interstate with a bunch of white American and black American muslim terrorists (because apparently there are a shitload of them). I guess one hour in movie time is long enough to forget that you are a hypocrite.
I don't mind a movie that is unrealistic. My problem is that I heard on many occasion how great and realistic Traitor was, and I truly think the people who made the movie thought the same way. However, Transporter 2 was closer to reality than this boring bag of garbage. If you want to see a movie about terrorists and the Mid East, watch Body of Lies.
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So the 2 stars is solely for the explosions? Because I don't see much in there otherwise that makes me even want to care for a second.
ReplyDeleteJeff Daniels is still decent. In The Squid And The Whale, he played a creepy rich dad who is a jerk. It was convincing and quite cringe worthy. But his Dumb and Dumber work was indeed quite amusing.